Each of Us Has Heaven and Hell In Him
by Doriana101
Summary: Two years prior to the Battle of Yavin, Sabine and Ezra are confronted with dark and evil forces on a botched mission. As Ezra spirals down into insanity, his love for Sabine may be the only thing that can save him... Or destroy him. My first attempt at Gothic literature. Title taken from Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray." CURRENTLY ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

_2 BBY. Undisclosed Rebel Base._

"Master, you wished to speak with me?" Ezra asked, his lean frame darkening the doorway of Master Tano's quarters. The Togruta sat in a meditative pose, eyes closed, chest rising and falling in a measured cadence.

"Yes," she responded serenely, "Come in, Ezra."

He obeyed, and a knot of anxiety settled in his stomach. "I'm going to be very candid with you," Master Tano said, opening her eyes, "I hope you will be equally so."

Ezra did not respond, reluctant to enter into any agreement. He did not like the direction the Togruta was was heading in, and his thought it wise to hold his tongue.

"I need to speak with you about your relationship with General Wren," Master Tano said, her voice mostly flat, with only a hint of concern creeping in. The air felt suddenly colder at the mention of his lover's name, and Ezra sucked in a shuddering breath.

"I've struck a nerve," Master Tano observed.

_There is no use trying to deny it_, Ezra thought, _We can't keep our love a secret forever, try as we may. Sabine said so herself_.

"You have," Ezra agreed, trying to keep the agitation out of his voice. Unexpectedly, Master Tano stood and placed a maternal hand on the young Jedi's shoulder.

"Ezra," she said solemnly, "I know that the Jedi Order is gone, but our teachings remain. Your bond with Sabine is strong. I can see it in your eyes, sense it in your very being. But you know how dangerous attachments are. They're a liability, and the last thing you need in this rebellion is liabilities."

Defiance boiled up in Ezra, threatening to spill over. He called on every ounce of discipline in him to ask calmly, "Are you telling me to part with Sabine, Master?"

"I am," Master Tano responded, "It will only end in pain, for both of you. If you truly love her, love her enough to let her go."

"I will consider your counsel, Master," Ezra lied with a respectful bow, and quickly exited the room.

As he rushed blindly down the hallway in the direction of his quarters, Ezra could no longer contain himself. He let his thoughts run wild, racing nearly as fast as his pounding heart.

_Master Tano is wrong. She filled with nothing but judgement. Isn't that the opposite of the famous Jedi compassion? She bound by some archaic, irrelevant teaching. Love doesn't make us weak. It makes us strong, powerful. Master Tano doesn't understand. Love isn't something that can be tossed aside and discarded. Not when it is as strong, as powerful, and as pure as the love between Sabine and_ _I. _

He was a slave to his love for her, she who was his own personal place of light and warmth in his increasingly dark belonged with one another, and no archaic law could change that.

Ezra reached his quarters, and jammed the door behind him. With a distressed sigh, he laid back on his low bed.

_I'm sorry, Master. It will be the coldest day in Hell before I let go of Sabine_.

* * *

Chapter One

_2 BBY. Abandoned Industrial District, Taris. _

The chemical fumes rose from their smokestacks, sputtering in the pouring rain. It glazed the helmets of every member of Alpha Squad, except for Ezra and Leia, whose heads were bare. The squadron hurried through the decaying former industrial district, searching in vain for shelter. The rain, laden with pollutants from the unregulated factories, burned where it hit bare flesh.

"This is hell," Trooper Greer muttered. Sabine couldn't have described the bleak environment any better.

"That one, General Wren?" Ezra asked, using Sabine's official title. He pointed to a large, foreboding structure, one that appeared to be an old warehouse. It rose a story or two higher than the rest of the buildings in the district, reaching into the gray sky. The doorway was rotted, revealing rusted iron hinges.

"Do the honors, Commander Bridger?" Sabine asked. With a half grin and outstretched hand, the Jedi pushed the door in. A few troopers gave low gasps. The idea of The Force was new, and, Sabine could tell, frightening to most of them. As their leader, Sabine knew it was important to demonstrate fearlessness, so she advanced through the doorway.

The air was heavy and thick with dust. The weak light from giant, cracked windows cast ghostly shadows on the grimy wooden floors. Beyond the great windows loomed darkness. The room contained no furniture. Although it was drafty and filthy, the space was dry.

"It will do," Sabine called, and Alpha Squadron filed through the door. "Split up and look for supplies. Troopers Greer and Smith. Commander Bridger and Grey. Leia, you're with me."

Bail Organa's daughter followed Sabine out of the large room and down one of the twisted hallways without so much of a word of dissention. Sabine admired Leia's pluck and tenacity. It made her a valuable soldier, and Sabine understood the girl was a budding politician as well.

To say the ancient building was creepy was an understatement. Sabine felt a strange impulse to glance behind her every few minutes. But she put on a brave face, knowing Leia was watching her. It was not Sabine's first mission as a general, but it was certainly the most difficult. What was meant to be a simple extraction from a local prison on Taris had ended in chaos, causing Alpha Squad to retreat into hiding until they could find a transport off of the planet.

"What was this place?" Leia asked, her sturdy boots making light tapping noises as she followed Sabine.

"Some sort of factory, probably," Sabine responded. They stopped at a rickety winding staircase. Leia ran her hand along the dark, curling railing. When she pulled her hand away, it was coated with dirt and dust. She put her foot on the first stair, but Sabine held out a hand. "Don't. It may not be stable."

The two rebels continued on, peering into each room as they passed. Sabine expected to feel more at ease the longer she explored, but the opposite was true. Cob webs stuck to her face, and a cold sweat ran down her back. Leia voiced what had been running through Sabine's head.

"Let's go back. If we haven't found anything yet, we most likely won't."

Alpha Squad regrouped in the large room with the huge windows. Greer and Smith had found a few ragged blankets, and they arranged then in a circle. Grey was breaking some old wood into pieces, for a small fire.

"Grey," Sabine asked, "Where is Commander Bridger?"

"He's still looking for supplies. He told me to come back here."

* * *

Ezra strode down the long hallway, his boots crunching the chips of ancient paint that littered the floor. Dust and other decaying matter filled his nose. Trooper Grey followed behind him, and Ezra could sense the boy's discomfort. At the age of sixteen, he was only two years Ezra's junior, but he seemed decades younger. Ezra wondered why the he was even included in Alpha Squad, but he had heard that he was a fairly good sniper, though he was yet to prove himself in battle. However, the boy was close friends with Leia, which was probably the biggest factor.

Ezra stopped dead in his tracks, and the trooper nearly ran into him.

"Grey..." he said shakily, "Go back to the general."

"Why?" Grey asked.

"That's an order. I... need to look for more supplies."

That boy scurried off, and Ezra continued to gape at the sight at the end of the hall. In front of a large, cracked window stood the figure of a man.

"Master?" Ezra choked, "Kanan?"

* * *

"Ezra," Sabine called, her voice ringing before it was swallowed up into the thick silence. Her lover stood at the end of a long hallway, muscles taut and lean body stiff, silhouetted by another cracked window. She advanced cautiously, as though someone were waiting to seize her at any moment.

"Ezra," she said again, quickening her pace. He did not turn until Sabine was nearly upon him. His face was an ashy gray, and sweat dripped from his temples.

"What's wrong?" Sabine asked quickly. Ezra sighed, stirring dust on the window sill. Sabine watched the particles drift past the weak ray of sunlight, waiting for Ezra to speak. After a long time, Ezra responded.

"Kanan spoke to me."

Sabine's breath caught. Kanan had been dead for just over a year, killed by the Emperor's minion, Darth Vader. Sabine had seen their leader take his last breath, seen the dull, glassy stare in his eyes. He was dead. Unequivocally dead.

"That's not possible…" Sabine whispered.

"I know," Ezra said, balling his fists. He paced back and forth, clearly upset. "I know! But he did, Sabine. I heard him as clearly as I hear you now!"

"But how?" Sabine asked. Since entering into a romantic relationship with Ezra, her knowledge of The Force had gone from non-existent to rudimentary. Still, something about the ancient energy inspired uneasiness in her. The moments when Ezra let himself go and allowed the Force to take over his body both terrified and mystified her. At times, she felt a strange sense of anger. Anger that such a power could overcome _her_ lover, even against his will. Both of them were powerless against The Force.

"I don't know how," Ezra responded, looking at her with agonizing blue eyes. She advanced and took Ezra's fists, gently unfurling them.

"What did he say?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. Ezra turned his head away, as though is eyes would give away his Master's words. Sabine reached up and with a hand pressed to his cheek, turned his face to her. He reveled in her touch, cradling her hand with his own, almost greedily, as if to keep her there. Ezra's eyes, soft through his heavy lashes, fixated on her lips. Eyes closed, Sabine waited expectantly for the warm, familiar pressure of Ezra's kiss. Instead, Grey's voice rang down the hall.

"General Wren, Commander Bridger." Trooper Smith stood on the opposite end of the hallway. Instantly, the couple separated. Sabine and Ezra had made an agreement to keep their relationship a secret. It was growing harder and harder, however, to hide it from Alpha Squad.

"Leia's found some supplies, and she wants you to look them over before we use them."

"Thank you, trooper," Ezra said, going from vulnerable to authoritative in a matter of seconds. With a quick glance in Sabine's direction, Ezra turned and followed Smith.

* * *

Through the giant cracked windows, dull light illuminated the pile of slumbering bodies. Four moons, like a row of old, yellowing skulls, hung low in the sky. Sabine sat up, checking to see if all the members of her squadron were asleep. They were, and Sabine crept to Ezra's sleeping form and slid between his arms. Just as her eyelids began to grow heavy, something caught Sabine's attention-a movement at the entrance of the hallway where she had found Ezra earlier. She sat bolt upright, fumbling for her blaster.

Sabine strained her eyes, but nothing was there. Just an empty, shadowy hallway. Sabine chided herself for being so excitable. She put her blaster back in its holster and settled in beside Ezra once again.

"What's wrong?" Ezra grumbled, half asleep.

"Nothing," she responded, "Sorry for disturbing you."

Sabine pressed a soft kiss against his lips. His eyes fluttered open for a moment, and for the second time that night, Sabine was stopped cold. Instead of the familiar, rich blue, Sabine was met an entirely different gaze. Cold, lifeless and… pale gold? Or was it just the moonlight? But the moment had past, and Ezra was fast asleep again, holding Sabine against him.

For the first time in her life, Sabine did not feel safe sleeping in Ezra's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_2 BBY. Abandoned Industrial District. Taris._

"Ezra."

The voice brought the young Jedi out of his slumber abruptly, as though he had been submerged in warm water, and suddenly came to the frigid surface. Ezra opened his eyes, and in the weak light of early morning, he could see a shadowy figure looming over him. Kanan, again. The lighting was considerably better than it had been the night before, and Ezra could finally examine the late Jedi Knight. He was skeletal and gaunt, with hollow cheeks cutting into pale skin. His clothing was worn, but not tattered. He didn't look entirely dead… but not entirely alive, either.

It didn't make sense. How could a dead man manifest himself like this? Ezra had never believed in ghosts, but how could he remain skeptic with Kanan standing before him? Reaching out through the Force, he strained to feel Kanan's presence. It was familiar, yet… Strange. Cold. Very unlike the man who had trained him.

…But it had been so long since Ezra felt Kanan's presence, perhaps he had forgotten it. Or maybe death had a way of altering one's Force signature.

_Kanan's not supposed to have a Force signature at all! He's dead._

Panic seized Ezra, and he felt very vulnerable lying on his back. He scrambled to sit up, but something pinned his left side to the floor. _Sabine_. She had ended up beside him at some point in the night, and was presently using his chest as a pillow.

Relief flooded his system at the sight of his lover. The idea of facing undead Kanan with Sabine beside him was far less daunting than doing so alone. However, before he could rouse her, Kanan spoke.

"Don't wake her. I must speak with you alone."

The idea chilled him, and Ezra responded, "You're dead, Kanan. We watched you breathe your last day. Stood beside your funeral pyre. How are you here?"

"That's what I want to talk to you about, kid," Kanan said with a half grin.

_That's more like him._ Ezra felt a spurt of confidence, and found himself gently easing Sabine's head off of his chest. She made a soft noise of protest, but he stood and nodded in Kanan's direction.

Noiselessly, Kanan turned and headed toward the maze of hallways. His boots made no sound on the worn floorboards, and this unnerved Ezra. However, he continued to follow his former master, although a few paces behind. Neither spoke as they made their way down an unfamiliar stretch of hallway. Kanan stopped at an ancient, rickety staircase, one that spiraled upward into a gaping hole. He advanced weightlessly, and began climbing the iron steps.

"Coming?" Kanan asked, upon noticing Ezra's hesitation.

"Is it safe?" Ezra asked, critically eyeing the framework.

Kanan shrugged in his nonchalant way, and persisted. Ezra placed a tentative foot on the first step. It held, and he continued cautiously until he reached the top.

Ezra was met with a disturbing sight: a room, slightly larger than the one Alpha Squad was using as base on the ground floor, with windows that reached the high ceilings. The entire area was charred and blackened. As Kanan advanced to the center of the room, thick black dust rose like ghosts from their graves. The burnt floorboards moaned and howled as Ezra followed his master. The room contained no furniture.

A strong, heavy feeling permeated the Force around him, and it squeezed his chest with an invisible grip. It was rare the Force could manifest itself as a physical feeling. It felt as though torment, anguish and oblivion were all rolled into one real, physical weight. Ezra began to shake all over.

"Do you feel it?" Kanan asked, stretching his arms out mechanically and turning his face toward the burnt ceiling, "This place vessel through which the Force can flow, unrestricted."

The realization hit Ezra, and he asked, "Is that how you are able to be here?"

Kanan nodded. "Some Force users developed a technique that allows the imprint of one's Force signature to remain even after their physical death. The Force is so strong here that I can manifest."

"But why?" Ezra asked, surveying his surroundings, "What's so special about this old attic?"

Kanan began to pace, casting shadows as he passed the tall windows. "It was the hideout of an ex-Jedi Knight, around the same time that Yoda became the Grand Master of the Jedi Order. After the Jedi Knight left the Order, the Council wanted to hunt him down and destroy him. But he had done nothing wrong." Kanan looked rather angry at this pronouncement, "Because of him, the Force is alive here, unrestrained by the Jedi's rigid interpretation of it's power."

"The Jedi can be rather rigid," Ezra commented with a grimace, thinking back to his conversation with Master Tano.

"I know all too well," Kanan said with a rueful grin.

"Hera?' Ezra asked, guessing his former master's thoughts.

"Yes," Kanan responded. He sighed. "I saw you with Sabine. I assume you understand the feeling."

Ezra balled his fists and turned to face one of the tall windows. "I love her, Kanan. I'd die for her. Who is Master Tano to tell me that our love is wrong?"

Kanan placed an icy hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Ezra," he said gently, "I loved Hera for many years. Our relationship never hindered me; it only made me stronger. The Jedi aren't always right, and the Sith aren't always wrong."

Ezra nodded, but when he turned to face Kanan, there was no one. He was alone in the attic, and the silence wrapped around him like a smothering blanket. Horrible dread descended upon him, and he hurried to the staircase.

_Did I only imagine Kanan?_

* * *

A raging storm had stranded Alpha Squad in the decrepit building, which made Sabine profoundly uncomfortable. The feeling of eeriness had not gone away; if anything, it had grown stronger. Most of the squad were huddled around a fire on ground level, but Ezra had insisted on meditating in the drafty, ghastly attic.

Sabine was worried for her lover, and she decided not to let him out of her sight. Ever since his reunion with Kanan, Ezra had been behaving very aloof. _Why is he so guarded? We've never kept things from one another in the past. What is he hiding?_ As Ezra sat deep in meditation, Sabine assaulted the least-burnt wall with angry spurts of paint.

The building felt so dark and tumultuous, Sabine decided to paint the symbol of the Jedi Order, which was synonymous with light and peace. Symbols had always fascinated her, she reflected as she painted with great, arched strokes. Typically she would have painted such a symbol in a regal shade, like purple or deep blue, but this time she used red. Vivid, angry, powerful red. It contrasted nicely with the black and dark gray of the charred space.

Sabine continued until her fingers were too cold to squeeze the trigger of her airbrush, and she thrust it down in agitation. "What's so great about this damn attic?" She demanded, turning to face the meditating Jedi.

"It's where it is easiest for Kanan to manifest himself," Ezra responded, eyes still closed.

"Well, he's not here now," she snapped. She rubbed her hands together briskly, retrieved her airbrush, and resumed painting.

Ezra's impassiveness hurt her. Usually, he was so open. She thought back to the night when Kanan and Hera had lost their lives. She and Ezra had spent the better part of that night weeping in one another's arms. He had been so raw, so vulnerable. It was as though they were one person, their very souls woven together by Grief's deft hands.

"The Jedi Order," Ezra observed, jarring her out of her thoughts, "What made you choose that symbol?"

Sabine sighed, suddenly feeling apprehensive about explaining her latest artistic endeavor to him. "This place needed some peace."

"What makes you say that?" Ezra asked, standing. He anticipated her answer too much, and this confirmed Sabine's doubts. _What does he know about this place that I don't know?_

Sabine shrugged in response, but Ezra looked at her with desperate, fearful eyes that caught her off guard.

"This building scares me," Sabine admitted, "I'm no Jedi, but something here feels… wrong."

Ezra nodded, and Sabine decided to take a chance. "Are you alright, Ezra? You don't seem like yourself." She turned, tilting her chin upward so that she could look at his face. They were only a breath apart, staring into one another's eyes. "You can tell me," she whispered taking his icy hands in her own. Ezra opened his mouth, and for a moment, Sabine felt hope rising in her chest.

"I'm fine," Ezra responded stiffly. Sabine's hope was like a bird with a broken wing: it fluttered with desperate, jerking motions, before finally falling to the ground. And Sabine looked away.

* * *

**A/N Sorry this chapter is a little short. It's in preparation for the next chapter, which will include a visit from another old friend. Because it's so short, my next update will be quicker than usual. By the way, a few of you have been expressing thoughts that Ahsoka is coming off as hypocritical in the Prologue, due to her interest in Lux Bonteri. Here's the thing: Ahsoka and Lux never actually had a romantic relationship. They liked each other, sure, but they were never in a real relationship. In fact, I would argue that Lux chose Steela over Ahsoka in the Onderon arc. Also, this story takes place roughly 18-19 years after the events of the Clone Wars. Ahsoka has had plenty of time to think through the Jedi ideals, and draw conclusions. I doubt she would have stayed static for so many years. So, that's my reasoning. But thank you for your thoughts! Constructive criticism is always welcome. :) Please favorite, follow and review, my little Ezrabine jelly beans! **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_2 BBY. Abandoned Industrial District, Taris. _

Night had fallen, and Alpha Squad was granted a short reprieve from the rain. Taris' four moons tentatively peeked from behind dingy clouds in the night sky. Sabine stared at them through the great windows, lost in thought, while the rest of Alpha Squad dug into dry ration packets around a miniscule fire. Ezra, of course, was still in the attic, trapped in his own invisible world.

"Kanan, if you're here…" Sabine began in a whisper, but changed her mind. If the late JedI had not yet appeared to her, it was doubtful he would do so now. And despite Ezra's immediate acceptance of Kanan's spirit, Sabine was more cautious. The idea of speaking with a dead person was unsettling and unnatural in her mind.

The idea had occurred to her that perhaps Ezra had gone mad. How could Kanan appear from beyond the grave? Could he simply have been a hallucination? She couldn't shake the idea that Ezra's predicament was somehow attached to the building. With every second spent in the decrepit hell-hole, Sabine grew to loathe it more. It was an irrational hatred, Sabine knew, and that disturbed her all the more.

"General?" Greer spoke up, "Do you want something to eat?"

Sabine was jostled out of her thoughts, but she gave a weak smile. Greer tossed a packet her way.

"What's the plan, General?" Grey asked, "For tomorrow, I mean."

"Well," Sabine responded, "If the weather clears up, I will probably send a few of us out to scout for a way off of this planet. If not, we have enough supplies to remain here for a few more days."

"Let's hope the weather clears up, then," Smith muttered.

"What makes you say that?" Sabine asked, surprised. _Alpha Squad's noticed a strange feeling about the building as well?_

"I don't like it here. But, of course, my feelings are unimportant," Smith added quickly, ever the proper soldier.

"It's creepy," Grey said, glancing at the ceiling as he said it, as though something was listening in to their conversation and would descend at any moment.

"It doesn't bother me," Leia said, digging in her ration packet.

"Nothing bothers you," Greer said, giving Leia a good-natured thump on the back.

Alpha Squad fell silent, listening to the sounds of the building, which seemed even more alive in the murky darkness of the night. All of the sudden, an unusually loud creak sounded from up above the squadron. They looked at one another, and finally Leia voiced their thoughts.

"Do you think the Commander is alright?" She said, quickly glancing in the direction of the attic with wary brown eyes.

"He hasn't come down all day," Grey commented.

"He's… not well," Sabine said stiffly, unsure of how much to share the Alpha Squad. They had put their trust in her as a leader, and she was obligated to tell them the truth. However, Ezra's current situation seemed private, especially since he barely shared the details with her.

"But why does he want to stay up there?" Grey persisted.

"Son, the Commander is entitled to bunk out where ever he wants," Smith reprimanded, although his eyes seemed to ask the same question.

"I know that," Grey snapped, "It just seems odd that-"

"I have the situation under control," Sabine said in an authoritative tone, "Do not discuss Commander Bridger among yourselves. That's an order."

Alpha Squad nodded, but Leia and Grey glanced at one another. Sabine stood, intent on checking on Ezra. As she walked outside the circle of firelight, she felt torn between protecting her team, and protecting her lover. Her predicament could prove to be problematic.

* * *

"Ezra."

As he sat, deep in meditation, Ezra became aware of a soft voice, and a softer hand caressing his cheek.

"Ezra, open your eyes."

He obeyed the gentle voice, but it's owner was no where to be seen. He was alone in the attic, the dim moons shining through the window panes and bathing the blackened floorboards in waning light.

"Can't you see me?" The hands moved up his back, causing him to jump and whip his head around. Again, not a soul.

When he turned to face forward again, a lone figure stood before him. It was Hera, as he had first met her, nearly four years earlier. She wore her orange jumpsuit, dirty with oil and frayed.

It was indeed Hera, but something was missing. She lacked her vivacity, her green flesh was short of it's luster, her eyes were missing their sparkle. _Of course. Why should a dead person be full of life? She died beside Kanan last year_. But Kanan had said that only Force users could use the technique he had used to manifest. Ezra leapt up and scrambled backwards, fear seizing him.

"What dark art is this?" he demanded.

Smiling in a gentle, knowing way, Hera said, "There is no darkness, Ezra. How could I be anything but light?" She held out her arms, and they hung in the air awkwardly, as though they were held up with strings.

"Why… Why are you here?" Ezra asked, still panting but more relaxed.

"I need to ask you something."

"Ask."

Hera walked to one of the windows, and stared out lazily, as if to tease him.

"You and Sabine…" she began at last. Ezra instantly tensed at the name of his lover.

"What about her?" he asked, guarded.

"Do you care for her?" Hera asked, still gazing out the window.

"I'd die without her," Ezra responded, without a moment of hesitation.

Hera turned, and fixed him with an inescapable stare. "Is she well?" she asked, almost accusingly.

"For the most part," he responded.

"For the most part?" Hera echoed, "What's wrong with her?"

"She's afraid. Hurting. And it's my fault," Ezra said, turning his eyes on the former rebel pilot, "I'm losing her, Hera. She's slipping out of my hands."

Still eyeing him critically, Hera gave no response, so Ezra continued. "I love her. I can't live without her, Hera! She's all I have left." His voice echoed through the forbidding attic, rising past the rafters and escaping through the decaying roof into the damp night.

"You say that," Hera said pointedly.

"I mean it," Ezra insisted, breathing heavily.

"Then destroy her painting." Hera pointed a long green finger at the blood red Jedi insignia Sabine had painted on the wall.

"What?" Ezra asked, incredulous, "Why?"

"Kanan informed you that this attic is a conduit for the Force, didn't he?" Hera asked.

"Yes," Ezra responded tentatively.

"By painting this Jedi symbol," Hera said, "Sabine has unintentionally claimed this place for the Lightside of the Force. It's unbalanced the conduit, and as a result, the Force cannot flow as freely."

"But how will destroying Sabine's painting prove that I love her?" Ezra asked, running his fingertips across her work, admiring it. "She's all that matters right now, Hera."

"You said she was afraid," Hera said, "I can tell you why. Just as the Force has become unbalanced, so has the atmosphere of this building. So, if you destroy the painting and bring the Force back into balance, Sabine won't have to afraid any longer."

"Are you certain?" Ezra asked.

"Yes. Now destroy the painting!" Hera cried, "I grow impatient!"

Ezra nodded, and turned to the cement wall, growing angry. He tore at the accursed thing, clawing was his fingernails and knuckles. He violently scraped away paint flakes, which fluttered to the ground like tiny, restless ghosts. So, with bare hands and an inhuman strength, Ezra destroyed Sabine's painting, her fear along with it-

"Ezra Bridger!"

Ezra stopped abruptly. He turned, and Hera was no where to be seen. Instead, Sabine stood at the top of the stairs. He heard a soft _splat_, and looked down. Crimson blood was splattered all over the charred floorboards, seeping between the cracks and the smeared all over the wall. The source was his own torn knuckles.

Hera was wrong. Ezra had never seen Sabine so terrified in his life.

* * *

Since Ezra's psychotic episode, the building felt more terrifying, making the hair on her arms to stand up, and causing every sound put her on edge. She sat across from Ezra, pulling chips of paint from his bloody knuckles. He was subdued and silent, staring down at his hands. She finished her task, and began to wrap his hands in bandages.

"When are you going to talk to me?" Sabine asked desperately, struggling to tears from escaping her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, shaking his head.

"I don't want an apology," Sabine exclaimed, "I want answers."

"I can't give you answers right now," Ezra responded, his voice on edge.

Sabine stood, her distress suddenly replaced with anger. "What the hell is wrong with you? You used to trust me, in the same way I trusted you. I've given you everything, all of me. Why are you withholding this from me?"

"I can't tell you because it has to do with you, Sabine. It will scare you. I can't bear to see you scared," Ezra responded with equal passion.

"I'm scared now!" Sabine exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her body, trying to comfort herself.

"I know! I know," Ezra responded, reaching for her. She pushed his hand away, and he flinched. Sabine turned away, unable to look her lover in the face.

"Hera spoke to me," Ezra said softly.

Sabine turned. "What did you say?"

"Hera," Ezra said, "She came to me."

Sabine's blood ran cold. "How is that possible?" She whispered.

"I have no idea," Ezra whispered, "Kanan can manifest because he was a Force-user, but Hera…"

"Are you certain it was Hera?" Sabine asked, her theory about Ezra being mad resurfacing in her mind.

"Of course," Ezra answered, looking hurt.

"I believe you," Sabine lied. She sat back down, and Ezra did as well. They studied each other in silence for a while, amber eyes meeting blue.

"Will you do me a favor?" Ezra asked suddenly. Sabine nodded, and Ezra removed his lightsaber from his belt. "Keep this for me, for a while," he said, placing the cold weapon in Sabine's hand.

"But 'this weapon is your life'," Sabine said, quoting a lesson Kanan had given Ezra so many years ago.

"I know," Ezra responded, "And I'm giving it to you. Don't give it back to me, Sabine, no matter what. Not until we leave this place."

All of the sudden, thunder crashed overheard. _I don't think that will be any time soon_, Sabine thought, her heart growing cold.

* * *

**A/N Sorry that it took a long time to post this. Ballet has been very hectic lately. Just a side note, for those of you who may think that Hera seems out of characters, notice I did not tag Hera or Kanan under characters in this story. Take that how you will. ;)**

**Please follow, favorite and review! It means a lot to me, and always makes my day. Also, I'm pleased to announce that I will be doing a collaborate with ezrafromstarwarsrebelsisdabest, so keep an eye out for that in the near future! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_2 BBY. Abandoned Industrial District, Taris._

Sabine crept up the rickety iron steps, clutching the scroll railing. With ever step closer to the attic, trepidation built in her chest. She had awoken before the rest of Alpha Squadron, and was unable to fall asleep again. Without telling Ezra, she decided to venture into the dreaded attic in an attempt to make contact with Hera. If not Kanan, surely Hera would speak with her. After all, Hera had been her mentor for so many years, and had almost served as a mother figure to the young Mandalorian.

As she mounted each step, Ezra's lightsaber steadily thudded against her leg, a reminder of the events of the previous day. The image of her lover, so distraught, tearing his own flesh in an a bizarre and random act of aggression made her feel ill. It disturbed her that he was unwilling to carry his lightsaber anymore, the weapon crafted by his own hands, the symbol of his power.

_He must not trust himself to carry it anymore_. The idea chilled Sabine, and made her hurt profoundly for her Ezra. _What happened to him? We've been here for all of three days, and he's turned into someone I don't know._

Sabine reached the top of the stairway, and the dank smell of mildew assaulted her nose. From the large window, she could see the desolate, rain-glazed neighborhood surrounding their temporary base. Between the heavy pollution, flesh-searing rain, and gloomy scenery, Sabine could not picture a planet more hellish than Taris. _What a terrible place for Kanan and Hera to spend eternity, if they indeed are here._

Sabine walked to the center of the room, and seated herself on the cold floor. She tried to mimic Ezra's meditative pose, crossing her ankles and resting her hands lightly on her knees. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, filling her nose with the scent of the attic.

_What now?_ Sabine asked herself. She did not know how to meditate, and she knew she could not connect to the Force. Sometimes, Sabine wondered what life would have been like if she were the Force-sensitive and Ezra were the common one. It did not seem fair that some were born with a connection to the Force, and others, like herself, were left to fend for themselves.

"Hera?" Sabine asked, "Are you here?"

Her voice rang through the attic, mingling with the sound of the pouring rain. Upon hearing herself out loud, Sabine began to feel foolish. _How could Hera be hiding somewhere in this dingy attic? She's dead. She's been dead for nearly a year. It's impossible._

Still, Ezra believed it was possible, and Sabine half-heartedly tried again. "Hera, it's me, Sabine. Please come out." Again, nothing.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sabine caught sight of the wall where her painting had been. It was nothing but a rust-colored stain now, a visual representation of her lover's shattered mind. An inexplicable chill slid down Sabine's spine. There had to be something Ezra was seeing, if not Kanan and Hera. Sabine was skeptical towards anything spiritual except for the Force and the _Manda_, but she could not rule out that idea that it were some evil presence torturing Ezra. Sabine felt a jarring urge to run back down the rickety stairs, but she collected herself and tried once more, this time, choosing different words.

"Whoever you are, show yourself," She said boldly, "Why do you hide? Are you afraid of me?"

As if on cue, a lone chip of paint fluttered from the ceiling and landed directly in front of her. A cry began to rise in Sabine's throat, but she suppressed it. "Show yourself!" she demanded again, voicing growing louder.

Her only answer was silence. As the moments crept by, Sabine began to grow dubious. _Perhaps I'm as crazy as Ezra. There is nothing up here_. She stood, and made her way to the staircase. To her surprise, Ezra was halfway up the flight of steps.

"They're not up there," Sabine said sarcastically, "I just checked."

Ezra paled, and hurried up to her. Gripping her shoulders tightly with his bandaged fingers, he whispered in a horrified voice, "You did what?"

"Tried to talk to Hera," Sabine said, trying to brush his fingers off, "She wasn't having it."

"Don't ever do that again," Ezra implored, "It's not safe. Please. Sabine."

"It's safe for you, but not for me?" Sabine asked challengingly.

"It's _not_ safe for me," Ezra responded, "It's not safe for any of us."

His grip loosened. "Promise me you won't try to make contact again."

His request aggravated Sabine. "I won't," she responded hotly, "I'm done making promises. Until you decide to stop being so cryptic, I won't agree to anything. Now, if you'll excuse me, _Commander_, I must attend to my squad." With that, she pushed past him and hastened down the stairs.

* * *

The morning was colder than usual, and only a thin ribbon of smoke rose from last night's campfire. Ezra's tatty blanket had somehow slipped off of him during the night, and he reached for it, which pained his wounded knuckles. In the weak morning light, he unwound the dirty bandages and examined them.

If Ezra tried to recall the events that caused his injury, the details were alarmingly vague. He was unable to remember _why_ he had destroyed Sabine's painting, and it disturbed him. He was only able to remember useless particulars. The jarring contrast of red blood against the blackened floorboards, Sabine's frightened eyes, the utter silence that had settled over the building afterwards.

_Why can't I remember more?_ Ezra wondered, a knot of anxiety forming in his stomach. He felt as though his grip on reality was growing weaker by the day. His eyes wandered around the room, and finally settled on Sabine's sleeping form. Her face looked so tranquil, so unconcerned. She rarely looked that peaceful anymore, Ezra observed with a pang of guilt. Lately, she had fluctuated between concerned, irritated, or most frequently, afraid. It hurt Ezra to see her this way, so different from the quick-witted, free-spirited woman he had known. It hurt even more to know that he had caused this change.

Ezra suddenly noticed something: an absence of the rhythmic sound of the rain. He sat up and gazed out of the cracked windows. The sky was still a dismal shade of charcoal, but the rain had indeed stopped. Hope rose in Ezra's chest: perhaps Alpha Squad would be able to leave the desolate warehouse.

Ezra immediately felt conflicted. How could he leave Kanan and Hera so readily? There was no telling if he would ever be able to contact them again. Neither had manifested since his episode with the painting, and Ezra could not shake off the feeling that he had somehow angered them. Still, the idea of leaving the building and losing them for a second time was almost unbearable.

As he gazed on Sabine, he began to reconsider. I_t's not safe for her here. As long as we remain, she will suffer. In only four days, our relationship as regressed so much. I cannot bear to lose her._ Ezra missed the feeling of Sabine sleeping beside him, missed being able to speak openly and honestly with her. When she was angry with him, he felt as though an integral part of him was missing. The connection between the two lovers went deeper than any bond Ezra had ever experienced. Sabine was a part of his very soul. _If it comes down to choosing between Sabine or remaining here with Kanan and Hera, I choose her. She's all that matters._

Resolute in his decision, he whispered, "Sabine, wake up! The rain's stopped."

It took them less than a half hour to rouse Alpha Squadron and pack up their makeshift base. Sabine and Ezra were the last to leave the building. Ezra glanced in the direction of the attic, the ethereal forms of Kanan and Hera appearing in his mind's eye.

"Come on," Sabine said gently, guessing his thoughts. She seemed relieved to be leaving, and she appeared to have forgotten their argument from the previous day. He nodded, and she offered a small smile.

As they pair ventured closer to the door, Ezra felt his chest begin to inexplicably constrict, and a thin layer of sweat glazed his forehead. With every step, he felt as though the floor were growing nearer and nearer, until he was on his knees, unable to continue.

"What's wrong?" Sabine asked, her amber-colored eyes dark with concern.

"I don't know," he responded breathlessly. Leaning heavily on Sabine, he stood. Within two more steps, he was brought to his knees once more.

"I can't…" he began, shaky and discombobulated. He was vaguely aware of his head falling on Sabine's shoulder.

"It's alright," Sabine said in a calm voice, although her eyes were at odds with her tone, "Greer, help me move the Commander back inside."

Supported by Sabine on his right and Greer on his left, Ezra made his way back toward the room with the great windows. As they grew closer, Ezra's symptoms began to dissipate. His was able to breathe easily again, and his legs felt stronger.

"Wait," he said on an impulse, "Take me toward the door again."

Puzzled, Sabine and Greer obeyed. Ezra's symptoms increased, returning with greater strength. By the time they reached the rotting doorframe, Ezra was gasping for air, his legs felt insubstantial, and he was unable to think straight.

_I can't leave. It's like this place doesn't want me to_, Ezra thought, before slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

Sabine paced the floor of the large room, thoughts swirling about like whirlpool, one that was precariously close to swallowing her. _We were so close, dammit. So close._ She had sent Greer and Smith out to explore the district, and Ezra was, of course, meditating in the attic.

A cry of frustration escaped her lips, and she resisted the urge to fling his lightsaber against the wall. There was no doubt in her mind now that some malicious force was at wok within the building. Why else would Ezra suddenly grow ill the moment he stepped outside the door? She knew as long as Ezra was forced to remain, she would remain as well.

_But what of my team?_ Sabine was pulled between being a faithful lover, or competent General. Her head told her to go with the latter, but she could not leave Ezra in such a vulnerable, broken state. Tears began to well in her eyes, and she wondered how long she could continue.

Sabine was suddenly startled by the sound of excited voices. They seemed to come from beneath her, and she recalled having passed a trapdoor earlier. Heading down one of the narrow hallways, Sabine drew one of her blasters. She was unsure of who she would encounter in the basement. After only a short walk, she reached the trapdoor, which opened to reveal a crude metal ladder.

It took Sabine's eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting of the basement, but when they did, she was met with a simple space. Low ceilings, bare walls and a dusty, earthen floor. In the corner, Leia and Grey were bent over, digging in the dirt.

"Care to explain what's going on down here?" She asked. Both of the young rebels jumped in surprise.

"We were bored, so we decided to explore," Grey said hastily.

Leia shot him a glance, then advanced, holding a muddy object in her hands. "We found this, sticking out of the ground."

It was a triangular contraption, barely larger than Sabine's palm. The surfaces were made of a strange glassy material, in shades of red and black. "I believe it's a holocron," Sabine said, studying the object.

"What's a holocron?" Grey inquired.

"It to stores knowledge for Force users, I believe," Sabine answered.

"What's it doing down here?" Leia asked.

"I don't know," Sabine responded, feeling uneasy. It looked nothing like the box-like, gold and crystalline blue holocron Kanan had kept aboard _The Ghost_.

"Let's ask Commander Bridger to open it," Grey suggested, grasping for the holocron. Sabine pulled it out of his reach.

"Let's… not," she said cautiously, "I think Commander Bridger should focus on getting well. Don't mention it to him, at least not right now."

Leia and Grey nodded, and Sabine slipped the holocron into a pouch on her belt, beside Ezra's lightsaber.

* * *

**A/N Hey guys! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I consider it the "eye of the storm". Big, big things are in store for the next chapter. ;) Thank you all so much for your continuous support! I'd like to give a shout out to two of my most faithful readers, Classic Cowboy and UnfathomableFandoms. Both are excellent writers, and I highly recommend their stories. **

**Just a side note, I have a bit of a playlist that I listen to as I write ****_Heaven and Hell_****. If you want to have the true "Doriana experience" as you read my story, play "Ghost" by Ella Henderson, "Skinny Love" by Birdy, "Strange Birds" by Birdy, "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith, and above all, "Take Me To Church" by Hozier. While the lyrics may not directly correlate with the themes or plot of the story, the sound inspires me for this genre. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Please notice that this chapter borders on M for violence. European T, as they say. ;)**

Chapter Five

**2 BBY. Abandoned Industrial District, Taris.**

Beside the gray ashes of the previous night's fire, Ezra lay on his back, still and staring up at the high ceiling, corpse-like. The cold ground beneath the back of his head was the only thing that reminded him that he was, indeed, alive. Since he had come to after his futile attempt to leave the building the day earlier, he had felt a strange sense of disconnection. His mind hovered over the line between consciousness and unconsciousness, and his body felt stiff and heavy. Even the blood in his veins felt thick and sluggish. His heartbeat was nothing but a ghost of a whisper.

Ezra shut his eyes, trying to sleep. Or go unconscious. Whichever came first. In a hazy, grayish place, Ezra suddenly became aware of a sight that caused his heart to thud, and make the lethargic blood in his veins suddenly rush.

_Kanan_. He towered over Ezra, materialized before his very eyes. Days of silence, of nothing, and now here he stood. Ezra was almost annoyed by the sight of his former master. Where was he when Ezra had needed him earlier? It almost seemed that Kanan's manifestations were entirely random. Ezra flicked his eyes around the room, searching for Hera, but the late Twi'lek was no where to be seen. Kanan was without his spectral lover.

"Kanan," Ezra breathed, a raspy, thin sound. He tried to sit up, but he could not move his fragile frame. Kanan held out one pale, long-fingered hand.

"I need to ask a favor," Kanan said, staring into Ezra's eyes with a cold sincerity. Without waiting for his former apprentice to answer, Kanan continued. "There is an item here that I need you to retrieve. Do you remember the ex-Jedi I spoke of?"

Ezra shut his eyes, trying to grasp the memory in the swirling haze of his thoughts. Ezra faintly recalled his second conversation with Kanan, in which he mentioned a rogue JedI who used the attic to practice his arts. _Why was he on the run? Was he a dark Jedi or simply a dissenter?_ Ezra couldn't recall.

"This man was a great student of the Force," Kanan said, a fierce, faraway look in his eyes, "He grew so strong that the Jedi Order, in all of their foolish pride, sent an assassin to end his life. They may have destroyed his physical body, but he left a holocron detailing his teachings and ideas. Your lover has it in her possession now, she's concealed it from you. She doesn't know it's significance. If it's damaged any way, teachings that are nearly a millennia old will be lost forever."

"She's concealed it from me?" Ezra breathed, horrified. She had never hidden anything from him. They were entirely transparent with one another, or at least they had been, before this accursed mission.

"Yes," Kanan responded, "Please retrieve it from her."

Ezra nodded, and Kanan bent down and placed an icy hand on his forehead. In that moment, the blood in Ezra's veins began to flow uninhibited, the beat of his heart became sturdier and his mind began to clear.

"You're a healer?" Ezra asked, but Kanan had dematerialized. The empty space that Kanan had occupied the moment before made Ezra wonder if he had really been there at all, but his mysterious, new-found strength was proof. Standing, Ezra decided to find Sabine.

* * *

Sabine stared at Ezra in disbelief. He stood before her, his strength completely restored and his eyes returned to their rich, clear blue. Just that morning, he had been lying his back, looking about as alive as the Bendu statue on Ando Prime. His sudden change worried her and she advanced, reaching her hand out to touch his cheek. He caught her wrist, and his grip was tight.

"You've been hiding something from me," Ezra said, his voice low and unsettling.

Sabine pulled her wrist away, countering his strength with deft quickness. She remembered Leia and Grey's find from the previous day, feeling the corner of the holocron pressing faintly against her hip.

Sabine stared at his with cool defiance. "So have you."

She had been caught, Sabine knew. How Ezra had found out that she had the holocron, however, she had no idea. Perhaps Leia or Grey had snitched, but Sabine found it unlikely. Perhaps he could sense it.

Ezra glared at her. "Don't play games, Sabine."

"_I'm playing games?_" Sabine asked, incredulous, "You're the on who won't even tell me what Kanan and Hera said. They were my mentors, too, Ezra. You have no right."

"If that's so," Ezra said, a look of disdain coming over his features, "Then you have no right to hide the holocron from me."

"Why do you even want it?" Sabine snarled, unrelenting.

"It was owned by the Force user who lived and died here. Kanan told me to retrieve it."

"Oh, Kanan again?" Sabine snapped, taking a step toward Ezra.

"Yes," Ezra replied, moving forward as well until there were only a few tense, electric centimeters between the two, "Don't even ask."

"I wasn't planning to," Sabine said, raising her chin insolently. A sudden, tense silence fell between them, and Sabine felt her face begin to grow hot. Their gaze broke, and Sabine felt herself being inexplicably being pulled toward him. She felt Ezra's bandaged hands encircle her waist, and she ran her hands up his arms. The hypnotic energy drew her in, but just before their lips met, Ezra stepped back abruptly. He held the holocron triumphantly, and Sabine's hand flew to her belt pouch, which was empty and open.

Sabine reacted in a second. Her hand flew out and hit his cheek with a resounding _smack!_

"How dare you?!" She cried, furious, "How dare you manipulate me, Ezra Bridger!"

A throat cleared behind her, and Sabine whirled around. Alpha Squad stood in the doorway. "We apologize for the intrusion," Greer said quickly.

"We heard shouting," Grey explained.

"Don't be sorry," Ezra said, an edge to his voice, "We're just about to open this holocron that the General had. Did any of you have any idea?"

A nervous silence fell over Alpha Squad, but after a moment, Leia stepped forward. "I did," she responded, demonstrating her solidarity to Sabine, "Grey, too."

"Well," Ezra said, glaring at the two youngest members of the squadron, "Shall we open it?"

"Don't," Sabine objected, "For the love of all things good, don't open it. It doesn't look like the one Kanan had. It's not right. If it came from this place, it can't be."

But her objections fell on deaf ears, and Ezra sat in the center of the large room, Alpha Squad gathering around him. Sabine followed, anxiety growing in the pit of her stomach.

Ezra let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes in concentration. Sabine watched as he sunk deeper and deeper into the waters of the Force, in which she could not swim. She was helpless, confined to the shore by her ordinary, unconnected psyche.

As Ezra's connection to the Force intensified, the planes of the holocron split apart, gliding gracefully through the air. They swirled around Ezra's bowed head, in a mystical, ancient dance. Then, as smoothly as they had split, they reassembled in Ezra's palm. This time, however, they did not form a symmetrical shape: jagged pieces stuck out of the center, making it look as though it were frozen in the middle of a violent ice storm. There was a strange, deadly beauty about the contraption, one that enthralled the artist in Sabine.

Alpha Squadron waited in silent anticipation. Ezra was motionless, not even breathing. Sabine's concern for her lover outweighed the anger she felt toward him, and she took a tentative step forward. It felt as though the whole room were suddenly colder. Sabine reached a hand for Ezra's still shoulder, sick dread building in her abdomen. As her fingers brushed the course gray fabric of his Jedi tunic, Ezra jumped. He opened his eyes, which had undergone an horrifying change: cruel, wild and unmistakably gold.

Sabine took a step back, shocked and disturbed. Aside from his eyes, Ezra's countenance had changed as well, into something foreign and horrible. He had the appearance of a hungry beast, preparing to attack. Ezra swept a predatory gaze across the members of Alpha Squadron, and they stood still, afraid to attract the attention of their distorted commander. Sabine's heart sunk as his ferocious eyes settled on Grey.

Ezra leapt from his seated position, and threw himself at the young rebel. Sabine tried to cry out, but the sound was caught in her throat. Seizing Grey, Ezra lifted him with a hideous, inhuman power and bashed his head against one of the great windows. An rush of glass shards rained to the worn floorboards, and Sabine noticed Leia aiming her blaster at Ezra's head, moments from pulling the trigger.

"Hold your fire!" Sabine exclaimed. She was barely able to take in everything that was happening. She felt frozen, rooted to the spot, watching an awful nightmare. She willed her legs to move, and trembling, she ran toward Ezra, who had snatched one of the glass shards from the ground. He plunged it into Grey's chest, which elicited a cry of agony from the young man. Grey struggled weakly to pry the bloody glass splinter from Ezra's hand. Ezra raised it high above them, and brought the makeshift weapon down on his chest again.

Sabine threw herself against Ezra, which momentarily knocked him off balance. She struggled with him, trying to wrench the glass from his hand. She could not get a hold on it, however, because it sliced into her palm, releasing of rush of blood. Ezra thrashed violently, resisting Sabine's grip on his wrist as he tried to stab Grey again. Sabine was reluctant to harm her lover, but she knew she must protect Grey, who was deathly pale and glassy-eyed.

Before she could act, however, Ezra dealt Grey the deathblow: he lodged the shard of glass in the young rebel's throat. Ezra stood, his robes stained with blood, eyes still hungry.

"Get out!" Sabine called, and Greer and Smith readily obeyed. Only Leia remained. "That's an order," Sabine added fiercely. Leia started, then followed the others reluctantly, closing the door behind her. Sabine was alone with her unhinged lover.

"Ezra, Ezra listen to me," Sabine said in a trembling, cautious voice, "This isn't you. Something's wrong. I don't know what happened, but we'll fix it."

Their gazes locked, and desperate fear struck Sabine. She searched the unfamiliar gold for traces of her lover, for anything at all. They weren't Ezra's eyes, they were the eyes of a merciless and malicious beast.

"Come back to me," Sabine begged. The two circled each other, Ezra still holding his glass shard. Sabine began to worry that Ezra, in whatever hideous state he was in, may try to harm himself. If not, it was only a matter of time before he lost interest in her and went after the rest of Alpha Squad. Cautiously, Sabine drew one of her blasters behind her back and set it to stun.

"I'm sorry, love," Sabine whispered. With that, she aimed and fired a single stun blast at Ezra, who slipped to the floor.

* * *

Ezra awoke with a start. He was lying on the floor, facedown. He raised his eyes, and instantly wished he hadn't. He was met with the jarring sight of Sabine, blood running down her arms and staining her skin. She was rubbing her forehead with wounded hands, in anguish.

But his lover's fear and pain were like a single drop of water in a deep well, compared to the rest of the building. Dark feelings hung about like tapestries, permeated every crack and cranny in the decrepit place. It consumed Ezra's psyche; made it impossible for him to think clearly. Something dark and evil had been released, and he shuddered.

"_What the hell happened?_" Ezra demanded fearfully, rolling over.

"You don't remember?" Sabine asked, and relief shone in her eyes. But a moment later, it was gone, and she went back to rubbing her forehead. "You must be brave, Ezra. Please. For me."

Ezra nodded earnestly, a sick fear constricting his chest. "You opened the holocron… and… did this." She spread her blood-stained arms wide, motioning for him to look around the room.

If Ezra had not been already lying down, he would have been floored upon looking around the room. Blood, torrents of blood, and glass shards… and in the middle, the mangled form of Trooper Grey. Ezra leapt to his feet and hurried to the rebel. He knelt beside him, observing his torn throat. Grey's eyes stared upward, lifeless.

"I did this?" Ezra gasped. When Sabine nodded, tears streaming from her red-rimmed eyes, Ezra forced down an urge to vomit. The whole room was spinning, spinning beyond control. A terrible, tortured cry was ripped from his throat.

Sabine was there, pulling him against her with strong, steady arms. He clung to her, buried his face in her chest, sobs wracking his body. The two lovers wept together until the windows grew dark and the moons shone brightly, causing the glass shards to glitter in their sea of red.

* * *

_The boy is a worthy choice. Beneath his Jedi façade is an aching sense of loss. Loss spawns vulnerability, which has been cultivated by his relationship with the General. His facilities are impressive: considerable strength and endurance, extreme sensitivity to the Force._

_His grief has made his gullible, and susceptible to childish visions. He is too eager to believe that those he has lost are somehow able to make contact with him. His vivid memories offered choice selection. It were almost as though he conjured the Jedi and the Twi'lek on his own, with very little effort on my part. Their forms were simple to assume._

_He seems to have ignored one of the cornerstones of the Jedi teachings: sanctimonious emotional detachment. He demonstrates such disregard for the Jedi ways in his love affair with the General. She, however, is a hindrance. It was her call that kept the boy from allowing me to take full control of his body. Likewise, she is more perceptive than the boy, more likely to abide by the laws of logic and reason. She is the anchor that binds him to reality._

_Anchors are easily cut. And after nearly eight centuries, I shall have a mortal form once more._

* * *

**A/N Hi, guys. Well, this is the point of no return. I know this chapter was pretty violent. I hope it didn't upset any of you. Should I up the rating to M? Please let me know your opinion. Sorry for the long update. I was in a two ballets and a play at the same time, and two out of three are over now. Anyway, please follow, favorite and review! I love hearing from you guys. P.S. Who was that last mysterious POV? You'll just have to wait and find out...**


	6. Chapter 6

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS STORY IS NOW RATED M FOR VIOLENCE

**Chapter Six**

_2 BBY. Abandoned Industrial District, Taris_

When Sabine looked up, she could barely see the windows through her swollen eyes. Night had fallen, and Taris' four moons stared at her, as though they were two pairs of yellow, evil eyes. Sith eyes. _Ezra's eyes, only this afternoon._

Ezra still clung to her, silent and still. She could barely feel his breath against her skin, and his own skin, so familiar to her, felt icy. Sabine could not even imagine what was going through his mind, what sort of thoughts were weighing his conscience.

"Ezra?" Sabine whispered, and Ezra stirred. He lifted his head from her breast, his face nearly as pale as Grey's body, which still lay in the center of the room. "Stay here. I'll be back in a moment," she said, pressing a rough, dry kiss against his cold forehead. Sabine stood, her head throbbing, and hurried out of the room, in search of Alpha Squad.

Shortly, she found them in a trembling pile at the end of one of the lonely hallways. "Soldiers," she said, in a husky, broken voice. She cleared her throat, trying to draw strength for them. They looked up, barely acknowledging her presence. Smith's face looked haggard, while Greer's steely gaze had softened to a weak glance. Leia scared Sabine the most, though.

She expected the Princess to be in a broken, agonized state, not unlike Ezra, but that was not the case. Leia was seething, her eyes flickering with wild intensity. "Did you kill Bridger?" Leia demanded, almost savagely.

"He's still our Commander, young one," Smith croaked.

"He's not my commander! I will not serve under a murderous bastard!" Leia screamed, standing. Her cry split the air, which had been wretched and stagnant, but was now alive and swirling with emotion.

"She's right," Sabine responded, "He is no longer your Commander. Ezra has been compromised, and is unfit to lead. He's under the influence of an evil entity. You all have probably figured that out by now. Acting on his own, he never would have killed Grey."

"Are you sure?" Greer asked, "With all due respect, the Commander has always been a mysterious one."

"I _know_ Ezra," Sabine said, "I've know him since before the Rebellion began. That wasn't him. It couldn't be him."

"You love him, don't you?" Smith asked gently, in a way that made Sabine's heart ache.

She nodded. "Which is why I'm stepping down as General. I've been emotionally compromised, and I'm unfit to lead as well. I'm not choosing him over you. You all need to leave this place, but I can't leave a man behind." As she spoke, Sabine couldn't help but feel that she was speaking to herself more than her crew, trying to justify what she was about to do. "Leia is now your leader." A strange mix of relief and regret flooded Sabine after she said those words. Stepping down as General was one of her worst nightmares, an unlikely scenario that she had only played out during her darkest nights.

At her announcement, fear flashed in Leia's eyes, but she squared her shoulders. "I'll do my best," she said staunchly.

"That's what I expect," Sabine said, "Return to the base. Tell them what has happened here, and make sure Master Tano is present at the briefing. She'll know what to do."

The others stood, nodding at Sabine. "Lead the way, General," Smith said to Leia.

"May the Force be with you," Sabine added, thinking it would somehow bring them luck.

To her surprise, Leia glanced over her shoulder at Sabine, responding with a solemn, "And with you."

After they left, Sabine hurried back to the great room. The floorboards were slick with blood, and glass crunched beneath her boots. Ezra was crouched over Grey, his face in his heads, his back trembling.

"Ezra," Sabine called, "Get up. We're leaving."

He looked up, and in a ghost of a voice, responded, "But I can't."

"Maybe, but we'll go as far as we can," she said desperately, holding out her hand. Ezra didn't take it.

"You should go, Sabine. Take Alpha Squad and leave me here."

"They're already gone," Sabine said, "Now, come on."

"Can't you see what I've done?" Ezra asked, "Who says I won't do the same to you as I've done to Grey? I couldn't live with myself. I'd rather be stuck here a thousand years than lay a hand on you. Now, go."

"I'm not leaving you," Sabine said, desperation welling in her chest, "We'll fight together, and we'll find a way to save you. Please."

"Even if that does happen, I can't ever go back," Ezra said, "They won't take me back, nor should they."

"Then we'll disappear together!" Sabine cried, "I'll follow you anywhere. Anywhere. We'll find our own corner of the galaxy, away from everything and everyone. Just you and me. Please."

Her declaration of solidarity must have reached him, and Ezra nodded slowly, taking Sabine's hand. She helped him to his feet, and they made their way out of the room. As they walked, glass cracking underfoot and labored breathing combined to create a eerie chorus. Ezra kept glancing over his shoulder, and Sabine unconsciously fed off of his nervous energy. Her anxiety grew with his until they clung to each others' hands with crushing strength. Sabine couldn't shake a sense of vulnerability, and chills began at the top of her shoulders and trickled down her back like cold water.

"Where are we going?" Ezra whispered, stopping halfway down a shadowy hallway.

"As close as we can get to the outside of this place," Sabine said, eyes flicking around the hallway. It closed in around them like a coffin, dark and stifling. Once this parallel occurred to Sabine, it was impossible for her to shake. Even the air smelled of death, and it felt like hundreds of clammy fingertips brushing her face. No, not her face: Her back. A large hand was resting between her shoulder blades. She expected to turn around to see some macabre parody of Kanan, with gaping holes for eyes and skin discolored with mold and decay. A cry welled up in her chest, and tore its way between her lips.

"Sabine, it's just me," Ezra responded, sliding his hand up and down her spine.

"I'm sorry," She responded, breathing tiny, hysterical breaths, "I'm sorry, I thought you were Kanan."

"He's not Kanan," Ezra whispered.

"I know," Sabine breathed. At the mention of 'him', the air went from sluggish and clammy to electric and frigid. A rush of wind blew down the tunnel, moaning like a ghost. A jolt went through Sabine, which spurred her legs into a run, while she still held tightly to Ezra. Hands plucked at her hair and nipped at her heels, and spectral screams assaulted her ears. Eyes leered at her from all sides, as bright as the hallway was dark. Beside her, Ezra bent low, as though invisible airborne creatures were diving at his skull. They ran, hearts beating wildly, until the reached the final doorway at the end of the hallway. Sabine pried the door open, pulled Ezra in and slammed it behind her. She sunk to the ground, back against the door, gasping for air.

"Are you alright?" Ezra asked. Sabine nodded, and Ezra responded, "Jam the door if you can, but I think we're alright in here. It feels safer."

"Safer," Sabine echoed, still panting from their run. She patted her hip, and felt both her blaster and Ezra's lightsaber. But what good could these weapons do against a spirit?

_Somehow, I don't think so,_ Sabine thought.

* * *

Huddled in the furthest corner of the empty room, Ezra and Sabine held one another. Her head tucked beneath his chin, Ezra wrapped his arms around her in an effort to make her somehow feel safe. But he knew this was little more than an illusion: he couldn't protect her, anymore than he could protect himself. Both of the young lovers were entirely at the mercy of the entity.

"Who do you think he is?" Sabine whispered, breath tickling the hollow of his throat.

"I know. I saw, when I opened the holocron," Ezra responded, "It seems the story that 'Kanan' told about the ex-Jedi is true. It's his holocron, and I believe he's the one that took control of me. He was killed here by another Jedi. I saw it. She killed him in the attic. That's why it's burnt, he used Force lightening to try to defeat her."

"So, he's a Sith, then?" Sabine guessed, "I remember you mentioning that the Jedi don't use lightening."

Ezra nodded. "I guess. We can't be sure, though."

"What's his name?' Sabine asked. Ezra wasn't sure that he should speak it out loud. It felt as though uttering those two words could bring the already-delicate haven crashing down around them. But Sabine had a right to know. She had the right to know everything; perhaps if he had been more open with her, they could have avoided so much pain.

"His name is… Kylo Ren." Ezra waited, holding his breath, but nothing happened. The air was still unmoving, thunder still rumbled in the distance, Sabine's heart still beat beside his own; the atmosphere was entirely unchanged.

Oblivious to his fear, Sabine responded, "So, the Jedi Knight was able to defeat him, right?"

"Yes," Ezra replied, "But this Jedi Knight, T'ra Saa, was far more powerful than I. And she only defeated his body. We have to deal with his spirit.

"I have an idea," Sabine said, "It's based on a theory, but I think it may work."

"What is it?" Ezra asked, a fragile, fluttering ghost of hope rising in his chest.

"I believe that Kylo Ren's spirit must be anchored to something here, like the holocron. So, I say we burn the damn attic with the holocron in it. It's a weak plan, but it may be all we have at the moment."

Ezra fell silent, thinking it over. "It's worth a try," he responded half-heartedly.

"Tomorrow, then," Sabine said, with the determination that was usually only heard from General Wren. The side of her that she reserved for him was softer, more peaceful. The General, the Artist, the Lover, the Rebel. He loved every side of her. It was aching, worshipful love, enslaving his heart to hers.

_Just as Kylo Ren's spirit is bound to this place, mine is tied to her. _The thought occurred to Ezra: If something happened to Sabine, what would happen to him? Would his spirit evaporate like water, leaving his body an empty shell? A shell that Kylo Ren could easily take as his own?

_He's going to go after her. I'm sure of it._ Wild fear gripped Ezra's heart, and he tightened his hold around Sabine, who had fallen asleep. Along with the fear, dark, brooding anger began to well in his chest. _I'm going to destroy him. I vow it_. With that resolution, Ezra fell asleep.

* * *

_…The edges of his sight crackled red and black, bright currents of energy. The scene in front of him was hazy with smoke, but he was able to make out the attic. Sabine was in the center of the room, crouching beside the holocron. It's jagged edges glittered deceivingly in the grayish light, as if to taunt him. "Are you ready?" Sabine asked, rubbing her hands together nervously. _

_"Do it," Ezra said, with an intense gaze and taut shoulders. Sabine nodded, striking a match and holding it above the holocron. As she released it, it was like time slowed, and his vision pulsed black and red. The flame wafted down toward the evil object, and Ezra heard his heart beating, thump…thump…thump…_

_In an instant, the entire attic lit up in a searing, bright, scorching blaze. Sabine scrambled back, until she was beside him. She glanced up with searching eyes. "Well?" She asked him. Thunder crashed, high above the airy ceiling, as if replying to Sabine's question._

_But Ezra barely registered the sound. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a dark figure. It was Kylo Ren, wearing the disguise of Kanan. He stalked into the room, grinning in a way that turned Ezra's stomach._

_In an instant, Ezra extended his hand, using the Force to call his lightsaber from Sabine's belt to him. He ignited it, and pointed it toward the entity._

_"Stop hiding behind Kanan's form and face me," Ezra called. _

_"Why are you waving around a lightsaber, boy?" The entity responded, "We both know it can do me no harm." _

_Before giving Ezra a chance to respond, Kylo Ren strode forward, toward Sabine. "But it can do her great harm."_

_Sabine drew both of her blaster and fired at the Sith point blank, but to no avail. However, she continued to fire until he was upon her. "Don't touch her," Ezra growled, his breathing growing ragged, "Hurt her and I swear, I will kill you." _

_The entity seemed amused. "Oh, I won't. But you, Ezra Bridger. You will."_

_"The hell I will," Ezra spat. But even as he uttered these words, he began to feel a floating sensation. Slowly, his legs began to take him nearer to Sabine. He tried to speak, but could not. He could only continue to walk toward his lover, raising his lightsaber slowly._

_"Ezra?" Sabine said, and he registered fear in her amber eyes, "What's wrong with you?"_

_He stood over her, and she scrambled back. But he kicked her feet out from under her, and she fell to the charred floorboards. Now clearly distressed, she cried, "Ezra, please!"_

_"Do it, boy," Kylo Ren ordered, all the amusement gone from his voice. What remained was cruel, and as sharp as a knife._

_"Yes, Master," Ezra replied in a sluggish voice. Presently, he was nearly unaware of what he was involuntarily doing. He suddenly could not remember the identity of the girl lying before him, shaking and crying out his name. But he remembered that she was his enemy, and was to be shown no mercy. _

_"Ezra, please," The girl said one last time, her voice soft, but sudden calm. She stared up at him, her eyes begging for him to recognize her. But he did not. He only saw an enemy. _

_He raised his lightsaber, and brought it down with such strength that it killed the girl in one stroke. He dead eyes stared up at him, still begging for mercy. _

_"Sabine!" Ezra screamed, realization flooding back to him. But it was too late..._

"I'm here," Sabine whispered, pushing Ezra's hair off of his forehead soothingly, "Wake up, Ezra."

Ezra opened his eyes, and Sabine's graceful form was leaning over him, the ceiling of the safe room above her. Relief nearly overpowered him, and had to catch his breath.

"You were having a nightmare," Sabine explained. He nodded, and she lay beside him once more.

_A nightmare, or a vision?_

* * *

**A/N Hey guys! Sorry for the really long hiatus. I worked all summer at the most soul-sucking food industry job of all time, and had no free time. Sorry again. I hope there are still a few of you who even keep up with this story! Haha! The next chapter of this story will be the final one. Oh, and I have upped the rating. Better safe than sorry, and I figure Sabine's death in Ezra's dream/vision may be disturbing to younger readers. Technically, though, it's no more disturbing than Sabine's death in "Path of the Jedi", or whatever that tripped out episode was called, but I digress. Chapter 7 is on it's way.**

**P.S. Kylo Ren is the name of the villain in Star Wars VII, for those of you who don't know. ;)**


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